How To Avoid Conflict

HOW TO AVOID CONFLICT by Dallas Clayton

The next time someone argues with you
in line
at the post office
all twisted up in the eyebrows
or at the grocery store
or anywhere strangers like to argue with other strangers
instead of arguing
you should sing them the first few lines of “Happy Birthday.”

This already will be enough
to confuse just about anyone
and also make you feel good inside
because singing songs in public places is fun
and something we should do more of as adults.

Then if you want
you can say something like
“C’mon everybody, it’s my best friend’s birthday
let’s show him some love!”

Of course everyone around you
will be obligated to join in at this point
which will give you
just enough time to slip away
from arguing about something so small
and back to more important business
like trying to track down a meteorite
and make it into a dreamcatcher.