I think I have cried more in the last week than I have all year. Porter's transition to full time school has been way more difficult than I ever imagined. He has been crying when we leave and yesterday was the day that changed me. I was too busy thinking about what I was going to do in all my "free time" that I forgot how to be a good parent.
I left Porter yesterday and walked out the door after many kisses and hugs.
I heard him scream for me and cry.
I watched another mom pick him up and comfort him.
My heart broke.
I went home and cried.
I felt like a failure.
I was clearly doing the wrong things for my child.
He needed me and I wasn't there.
So I talked to Jason and we decided that I would spend as much time in the class as I could until he was comfortable. I spent four hours at the school yesterday and he had a good day. I left this morning and he didn't cry, the promise of a new Bakugon helped with that. The great thing is that the teacher is okay with me taking Liesl, so I can be there as much as possible. I am off to spend some time at the school now.